i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
