He is such a slut. More and more my type.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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