Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
