yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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