ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
