Well apparently he's into motor boating.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Randomize
