is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
