my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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