i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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