i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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