she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
