going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
