I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
