Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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