yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
where are you?
Hypothermia
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
