I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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