Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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