quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
