I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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