worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
