I haven't been this sober since birth.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
