There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
