party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize