Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
