The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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