Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
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