atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
