Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
