let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Randomize
