he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
