Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
