Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
