also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
