I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
