Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
