Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
