whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize