Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
