Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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