I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She bit a glass in half.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
