I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
