After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You made out with two different species that night
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
