why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
