in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize