The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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