She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
