Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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