well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
