I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
