he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
