I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
