I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
