Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Randomize
