3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Randomize
