Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
