i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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