Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
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