too bad you live with your parents still
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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