No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
