I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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