What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
