I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
