Kiss
Puke
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize