Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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