Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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