My Higher Power is John Stamos
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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