i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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