why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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