Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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