Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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