hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize