You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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