is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
