wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
