Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
