would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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