At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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